Statistics for this story are through games of August 22, 2024.
Kraken Far From Only Seattle Franchise Under Water
No offense, but Seattle pro sports teams have no offense. That’s a big reason 2024 has been a brutal year in the Emerald City to be a coach or manager.
Mariners manager Scott Servais was the latest casualty last week, dismissed in large part because his team’s offense ranks 27th, fourth from the bottom in MLB (3.93 runs per game). Kraken head coach Dave Hakstol got the ax on April 29, unable to coax more than 2.61 goals per game out of his troops, 29th in the 32-team NHL. Back on January 10th, two Super Bowl trips and one championship couldn’t save Pete Carroll, whose Seahawks ranked 17th in 2023 NFL scoring (21.4 points per game).
The Sounders haven’t escaped the malaise, ranking 20th out of 29 in goals in MLS (32 in 25 games). However, their coach, Brian Schmetzer, has – as of this writing – escaped the chopping block. He’s been on the job for an unemployment-defying nine seasons. Nor have Seattle’s female soccer pros been immune. In the 14-team NWSL, the Reign rank tied for 10th in offense (16 goals in 16 games.) You might say Reign coach Laura Harvey, on the job since 2021 in her 2nd tour of duty, hasn’t been able to make it pour. (You probably wouldn’t say that because you’re not infected with chronic dad-joke-itis.)
Perhaps new bench bosses Dan Bylsma (Kraken), Mike MacDonald (Seahawks) and Dan Wilson (Mariners) should beat a path to Storm coach Noelle Quinn’s door. On the job since 2021, Quinn’s squad apparently has found a vaccine against the citywide inability to light up a scoreboard. Seattle’s women pro hoops stars rank 3rd in the 12-team WNBA in scoring, 83.8 points per game.
Take The Seattle General Manager Quote Quiz
A different Seattle GM made each of the statements below. See if you can match the three quotes to Seahawks GM John Schneider, Kraken GM Ron Francis, or Mariners GM Jerry Dipoto.
- “We believe that we need a new voice.”
- “We just felt it was time to try a new voice here.”
- ”Different opinions, different philosophies, open the door to different ideas.”
Answer to who said what: It doesn’t actually matter. All three general managers are saying the same thing. Okay, for the record, #1 is Dipoto, #2 is Francis, #3 is Schneider. It’s also fair to point out that since all three men were tight with the coaches who were let go, ownership surely had a guiding hand in each decision.
“New voice” or some variation thereof is the new sports go-to phrase for explaining a coaching dismissal. Undoubtedly, there’s truth to it. That’s one reason why teenagers so often rebel against their parents, who in most cases can’t be fired. “Eat your vegetables” and “Do your homework” might be good advice, but get tuned out after a while. So does “don’t get caught in deep” and “win those 50-50 battles,” especially to pro athletes often not far removed from their own teenage-hood – and with lucrative guaranteed contracts.
Winning championships provides only temporary insulation from the charge a coach’s message has gotten stale. Ask Pete Carroll. Heck, ask Dan Bylsma, who wears a Stanley Cup ring from Pittsburgh but also got fired there. Clearly, these men didn’t all of a sudden forget how to do their jobs. So if the issue isn’t malfeasance or incompetence but mostly a case of “tired voice,” here’s a solution for impatient owners and antsy front offices.
Embrace The Coaching Carousel
During the offseason every three years, gather all the league coaches. Have NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly wheel out the machine with 32 ping-pong balls, like they use for the draft lottery. The coach of the Anaheim Ducks becomes… let’s see the logo on the ping-pong ball… the new coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets. The coach of the Buffalo Sabres, congratulations… you’re the new coach of the Edmonton Oilers. See? Every team gets a “New Voice,” and owners can show disgruntled fans, “We did something!” Next up, we re-load the ping-pong balls for NBA commissioner Adam Silver…
Absurd? Of course. So is the tired explanation that a “new voice” will solve a team’s ills. Coaches and managers are – this isn’t an original thought – easy scapegoats. Did Servais and Hakstol and Carroll need to go? The argument can be made in each case. But to go back to the premise we started with, there’s a lot more involved in the M’s hitting more homers, the ‘Hawks catching more TD passes, and the Kraken energizing their power play. More often, the fault, dear GMs, lies not in your coaches, but in your roster construction.
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