Welcome to the premiere – and probably also final – episode of “Seattle Kraken: No Duh.” To qualify, a topic has to be so achingly obvious, so beaten to death, that even casual Kraken fans will blurt out, “No Duh.”
Today’s category: Contracts the Kraken regret signing. Let’s play!
Chandler Stephenson: 7 Years, $43.75 Million, 2024
“No Duh!” Amirite?
Dom Luszczyszyn of The Athletic felt compelled to name Stephenson’s contract the 3rd worst currently handed out by an NHL team. He actually does a good job of explaining why Stephenson’s 51 points last season, though 2nd highest on the Kraken, was somewhat of a mirage.
“Of Stephenson’s 51 points, 18 were thanks to playing on the team’s top power play, where 11 were secondary assists. At five-on-five, he scored just 1.57 points-per-60, ninth among forwards and directly behind recent salary dump Andre Burakovsky. On a bad team, someone has to score, but it doesn’t mean they’re actually adding much to the team’s bottom line – they’re just getting a lot of minutes.”
Luszczyszyn buttresses his argument with an analysis of advanced metrics. “It is still mystifying that the Kraken ever gave a 30-year-old declining center $6.25 million per year for the next seven years.” No one’s arguing. But this is such well-plowed ground that we should call this autumn’s pumpkin harvest, “The Stephenson.” Perhaps future Dom stories will cover these topics:
Sun Rises In East
Water Remains Wet
Gravity As Powerful As Ever
The only relevant Chandler Stephenson topic is that young Kraken 1st round centers Matty Beniers and Shane Wright should now be considered fully seasoned. So let’s hope new coach Lane Lambert isn’t swayed by the size of Stephenson’s contract to give him minutes that in 2025-26 should belong to Beniers and Wright.
Kraken Contracts Don’t Make The Grade
Luszczyszyn wasn’t done filleting the Kraken. In a (paywalled) piece headlined, “NHL Contract Efficiency Rankings,” he places Seattle dead last, with an overall grade of D+. Naturally, Stephenson receives his lowest grade, D-. (If you can’t guess the only other Kraken contract to receive a D-, continue reading for part two of this column.)
Three other Kraken contracts receive D grades – maybe that’s because all three are defensemen: Ryan Lindgren (D+), Adam Larsson (D+), and Brandon Montour (D). Graded higher are blueliners Jamie Oleksiak (C-) and Vince Dunn (B-).
The forward corps fare somewhat better. Jaden Schwartz and Freddy Gaudreau get a C; Kaapo Kakko, Eeli Tolvanen, Jordan Eberle and Tye Kartye get a C+; the head of the class are Jared McCann (B+), Matty Beniers (B-), and Mason Marchment (B-). Goalie Jolie Daccord’s contract is valedictorian, earning an A+.
Sheesh! I think Dom would relegate the Kraken to the AHL if he could. I don’t find the outlook nearly as dire – Montour a “D” grade? Really? – but that’s why there’s chocolate and vanilla. Time for Round 2!
Philipp Grubauer, 6 Years, $35 Million, 2021
“No Duh!” Amirite?
In comparison to the one season lamenting Stephenson’s contract, Kraken fans and pundits have had four years to chew over the money and term that convinced Philipp Grubauer to join the expansion franchise in 2021.
Everyone who follows hockey in Puget Sound knows Grubauer hasn’t posted a save percentage north of .900 in any of his four seasons. And that he’s been supplanted as Seattle’s #1 netminder by Joey Daccord. And that it was a surprise the team didn’t buy out the final two years of his contract. What more really needs to be said other than, like with Stephenson, hoping (against hope) for an upgrade in performance?
Michael Amato of Sportsnet.ca felt compelled to spill pixels to share, “Philipp Grubauer is running out of chances.”
Do go on, Michael. “Granted, Seattle was a bottom-10 team in 2024-25 when it came to high-danger chances allowed, but Daccord thrived while Grubauer continued to struggle. Perhaps they are hoping he can recapture the magic of his 2023 post-season run.”
Amato also questioned the wisdom of employing a $6 million backup goalie. “Grubauer hasn’t managed to get anywhere close to that (2023 playoff) level since and it’s going to be hard for the Kraken to justify keeping him on the roster with that salary going forward if they hope to get back into the playoff picture.” You don’t say. Well, actually, you just did say. So has just about everyone else not named Kraken GM Jason Botterill and president of hockey operations Ron Francis.
Thanks for playing. Make sure to pick up your complimentary parting gift on your way out, the book sure to be a best-seller: “John Hayden & Buoy’s Bear-y Exciting Fishing Trip.”