The Seattle Kraken on Thursday unveiled a glow-in-the-dark third jersey.
I don’t want to say I told you so – wait, yes I do. I told you back in April.
The Kraken have created an entire mythology, and a website, dedicated to their new duds. According to a press release, “The team’s first third jersey marks a new innovative direction with a continued commitment to the mystery of the brand. The crest features an ice blue outline that glows in the dark, alongside a glow effect on the shoulders, numbers and names. The glow is designed to be both beautiful and mysterious.”
Of course, failure to figure out “the mystery of the brand” has already gotten two Kraken coaches fired in four years. Also worrying, the website claims, “The Kraken descends deeper than ever before.” Since the Kraken finished in a three-way tie for 27th in a 32-team league last season, maybe they should consider an ascend.
Remember the Oct. 21, 2023 Kraken game against the Rangers at Climate Pledge Arena, when a bank of lights went out? Think of the competitive advantage the Kraken will have this season if they can – Oops! – make that happen again. The other team will be bumping into each other all night, while the Kraken make crisp tape-to-tape passes because of their glow-in-the-darks.
And if they could pump in some fog effects, that would be cool, too.
Stealth Crests, Bioluminescence & Sonar Sleeves
Here’s how the team describes the design elements, from their website:
“Active sonar,” explains Wikipedia, “means emitting pulses of sounds and listening for echoes. Sonar may be used as a means of acoustic location and of measurement of the echo characteristics of ‘targets’ in the water.” Let’s hope Kraken players use their sonar ping sleeves wisely. Otherwise, Climate Pledge Arena could be overrun by confused dolphins and bats.
With these 3rd jerseys, players will wear black gloves, shorts and socks, plus matte black helmets with glow-in-the-dark Amazon logos. They’ll debut Nov. 1 at Climate Pledge Arena when Seattle faces the Rangers. (Complete 11-game schedule below.)
Fan Reviews
Early reaction on the Kraken X account has been largely positive, even from other fan bases.
- “As a Preds fan I may have to buy this.”
- “I’m a Habs fan and all but these are f***ing peak.”
- “SIGN ME THE F UP I’M NOT EVEN A KRAKEN FAN!!!!!”
- “Definitely a take my money situation.”
- “Where where WHERE can I buy one of these??? NEED.”
- “I love it. A+.”
- “Top 5 jersey in the league.”
- “This goes hard ngl y’all cooked.”
Full disclosure, I have absolutely no idea what that last comment meant, but I consulted with younger people who explained it was intended as a compliment.
The team says the jerseys will be available for purchase in-store and online starting Oct. 5, “pending availability.”
Some fashion critics won’t be the first in line.
From r/SeattleKraken:
- “Bland looking and boring.”
- “Both unfinished and too gaudy?”
- “Still no anchor logo?”
- “I was hopeful we might get a tentacle on the arms.”
- “2025 Meh new jerseys: Seahawks 🤝 Kraken.”
- “I’m completely over the black alternate jersey trend.”
- “This is disappointing as hell. I mean, I’m still going to buy it.”
The Abyss Awakens
The website dedicated to the reveal says this is the “Jersey from the Abyss.” The URL itself is “The Abyss Awakens.”
Now, I didn’t know an abyss could awaken. Heck, I didn’t even know an abyss slept. So I did some research. Dictionary.com says an abyss is “a deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vast chasm. Anything that seems to be without end or is impossible to measure, define, or comprehend.” Oh, like waiting for a new hockey season to start.
What’s termed “The Abyss” carries various meanings across cultures. “For Jung, it was a container of repressed unconscious content that must be brought to light to achieve the desired individuation. In mythology, the abyss often represented a mysterious place that gods had to traverse to bring about transformation. For Christians, the abyss is frequently portrayed as hell or the bottomless pit.” Like, for instance, where the souls of Kraken fans reside when the team misses the playoffs.
Those other explanations are all well and good, but for the first time, we now know that the abyss is actually where 3rd hockey jerseys come from. Mystery solved!
One last word of warning for Kraken fans considering a purchase of this new jersey, courtesy of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. “When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
Now THAT’S deep.