It’s been 125 days since the last Seattle Kraken game, and we’re getting a little antsy. Rookie camp is just over the September horizon, then training camp, then exhibition games, then the real thing. But for today, with nothing better to do, we’re going to indulge just a little bit of our inner snark concerning newly re-signed Matty Beniers.
DJLR Labs has come out with the prototype gauge above, tapping the collective nerve impulses of the Kraken fanbase. Prior to Tuesday’s contract extension, the gauge registered definite unease regarding the re-upping of face-of-the-franchise center Beniers.
Back in April, the “Kraken Fan Panic Meter” was hovering in the Evergreen, which translates to “GM Ron Francis knows what he’s doing.” By May, the threat alert level had risen to Lime, indicating a feeling of “Hey, they have the draft to get out of the way first. Right?” In June, our meter captured the collective fanbase zeitgeist souring to Lemon: “They have to get free agency out of the way. Right? Right??”
Last month for the first time, Kraken fans went full Tangerine. “Someone’s going to sign Matty to an offer sheet. What am I going to do with my #10 jersey, and Matty bobblehead, and Matty posters, and?…” As the news-free days of August peeled away without Beniers and Francis coming to a mutual agreement both sides could hate, fandom moved into Red Alert.
The eventual resolution was just as Francis promised us, that the 21-year-old Calder Trophy winner and first-ever Kraken draft choice will remain in the fold for years to come. Seven more years, if he plays out the entirety of the new deal, at an Average Annual Value (AAV) of $7.14 million.
The delay was typical negotiating tug-of-war; Matty’s camp trying to squeeze out every perk (as they should), Francis desperately hanging on to same (as he should), and both sides inching their way to an agreeable midpoint of dollars and term.
If a stalemate had continued past the beginning of September, the mind reels at the chaos and pandemonium which might have consumed Kraken Nation: (1) Hoarding of paper products (2) PTAs disbanding (3) Fans cracking each other’s heads open to feast on the goo inside (4) Placebo shortages (5) Dogs actually playing poker (6) Alarming rise in snake-kissing (7) Gravity increasing 40% (8) Surrendering to insect overlords. There’s probably more, if I had time to re-watch some Simpsons episodes.
Now, though, we can both relax and find new things to keep us up at night. Like, how could Francis dole out a seven-year, $50 million deal to a guy who scored 15 goals last season? And, do you realize how much we’re all going to weigh if gravity increases by 40%?