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The Kraken’s new mascot is a beautiful nightmare and I love it

Buoy the troll forever

The Seattle Kraken have been teasing the unveiling of their new mascot all week. There was an abundance of nouns to choose from as far as a deep-sea, Seattle-themed mascot goes — giant squid, fisherman, pirate, etc. What repelled down from the rafters of Climate Pledge Arena on Saturday night was far more terrifying than any of those, and in the best way possible.

Meet Buoy the troll!

The team describes Buoy, who was inspired by the famous Fremont Troll, as “a six-foot-tall blue sea troll living in the caverns of Climate Pledge Arena.” I describe it as the being from my next night terror that I will be describing to my therapist next week.

Glenna Kurek

Buoy is said to have once met the giant squid roaming the Puget Sound, which left “a touch of Kraken magic in Buoy’s hockey flow.” In all fairness, Buoy’s flow is already the best among hockey mascots.

According to the team, Buoy’s favorite snack is “shark with a sprig of maple leaf,” a delicious shot at one Pacific division rival and one Toronto-based team we can all enjoy poking fun at. They also feature a removable tooth(?!) which is both a) rad and b) probably a difficult obstacle to overcome whilst eating said favorite snack, a shark with a sprig of maple leaf.

The more I look at Buoy (especially in the light of day rather than the darkness of a pregame ceremony) the cuter the mascot becomes. The dichotomy of “adorable by day, but would not want to see at the end of a dark alleyway” is honestly the perfect aesthetic for a professional sports team mascot.

Welcome to the club Buoy!